ugh. i have been sick for almost an entire week and im just slowly recovering. it was dreadful the first couple of days. first it was constantly being cold, followed by excessive sneezing and runny nose and coughing as well. then resulted w/ barely being able to breathe. just terrible. haven't been so sick in a long time.
however, the result of this cold/flu wasn't relief of being well and ability to work again. but that after this week, somehow, i totally lost track of myself. i have no desire to work hard nor do any of my schoolwork. while i was sick, i received an internship offer; however, now that im near to being well again, i suddenly don't have the passion to do anything anymore. and before w/ the consideration of continuing studies for a second major- i kind of want to give up on that as well.
i realized that im actually not as independent nor strong as i once was or perhaps im at the stage where im becoming once again dependent on someone else to take care of me; yet, at the same time, im not exactly feeling im being taken care of. many thoughts are going through my head again and sometimes, i wish i was back at home w/ my mum. despite the freedom living by myself, i sometimes wish i actually have a family. i know i shouldn't be complaining since to be honest, im already quite spoiled and have many things that others may not have.
yet. im still feeling some emptiness......